To Youth Group or not Youth Group - A Personal Conviction

Some things are hard to write about. 

Such would be the topic that I've chosen today:    

To be involved with the Youth Group or not.

Personal because I realize that, kind of akin to choosing to homeschool, making the decision about youth groups is between your family and God.

Also personal because there are as many reasons FOR attending, as there are for NOT attending.

But, as I said, this is personal, so I'll just tell you my story.

As the New Year started, my prayer for my family was this:  "Lord, help us to worship YOU in a new way, as a family."

I had no ideas in mind as to what that would look like, but it was a sincere prayer to my Lord, who can and does have creativity galore!   So, I knew He would take us where He wanted us to go and in ways I could not predict.

And - what a faithful God He is!

Already, in the few short weeks since I've prayed that prayer, He has impressed new ideas and new standards into our life.  

I will try to make this brief:

In the Fall (Sept. of 2011), Collin started 7th grade, which at our church, equals Youth Group.  I was a little apprehensive,  but having watched Ted go through it and grow in his walk with Christ, I thought we could handle it.   I've never been against the idea of a Youth Group, but always a little skeptical about the methods in the modern church, especially if there is a weak leader.  (Which was not the case this year!  The new Youth minister is a fantastic leader with some awesome ideas.   He's strong on purpose and yet, funny and likable for the kids.    He's a great choice and I think will do a great job at reaching the lost.)

However, back to the personal side of this story:

Each Wednesday I felt uneasy about Collin's participation in the activities.  And, each week he would come home and tell me about some incident that made him uncomfortable.   These were usually inappropriate behaviors or conversations that would take place within ear shot of him. (Keeping in mind that the ages range from 7th grade to 12th!)  And each week, my uneasy feeling grew a little larger.

In the meantime, the New Year is approaching and we missed a few of our own Sunday School classes, for different reasons (travel, etc.).  And, I'm praying and asking the Lord to work in our family.

And, along comes a reminder to me, that many of my friends attend a Family Integrated Sunday School class, where the entire family attends the same class together.    We had actually tried this class before, but the time slot conflicted with other obligations, so although we really liked the class, we had to stick to the class we were already attending.   

But, it just so "happens" that they now have a new time slot; one that would work for us, so last Sunday, Collin and I attended and loved it!  

Then last night we tried the Wednesday night Bible study together (normally he would be in the Youth on Wednesday nights), and loved it too! 

So, this morning as I'm praying, I'm realizing that I have this great big peace, and I know it's from stepping out of disobedience into obedience!   And, it felt so good!   It felt like this is where and what we've needed to do for our family. 

Why?

Just keeping it personal, here are my reasons:

(These are things that have been impressed upon my heart for the past week):

What good comes from always keeping the youth separated from the adults?
How are kids supposed to watch and observe older Christians, if we're never in attendance together?
I personally believe this is one of the enemy's schemes that tears Christian families apart.
The more fragmented our families become, the easier it is to give up the fight for them.  Church is just one more area in the world, where families are going in different directions.

What are we teaching our youth about the reason we attend church?
I guarantee that a good majority of the kids in the Youth say they come for the fun, games, and food.   Well, for those that are lost and are still spiritually blind, this is a great tool or bait, if you will, to get them in the door (meet the needs, right?)   But, for Christian kids who should have moved beyond the spiritual milk by now, it's pure entertainment that may or may not lead to growth. 

For both of my boys, the distractions caused by most of the kids on Wednesday nights, as well as Sunday mornings, were a hindrance to learning anything.   As much as they would try to listen and be attentive, the noise and disrespect for the speakers and teachers, were too much.  

In my opinion, we are "dumbing down" church, just like we've dumbed down education. 

We are so afraid that these kids can't handle the standard of sitting still and listening to a testimony or lesson for 30 minutes, unless we entertain them first.   

I am not against fun - but my gripe is the way we hold the visitors to no standards at all.   It seems we don't want to offend anyone - even in the church.

Instead of expecting them to rise to the occasion and expecting a moderate level of respect and reverence, we're afraid of running them off, and we allow them to act like buffoons (my guess is that this is how they act in school, so it's what they know they can get away with).

Why not teach them to be respectful?  Why not set an expectation that obviously no one has ever set for them?  Don't they need to view church as being different; a place of reverence?   Isn't there a purpose for people gathering there each week?   Shouldn't social graces apply to church, just as they apply to other social places?   So why aren't we expecting that?

So, what's happening is that the kids who have been raised to be respectful and hunger for God's word and who actually put a value on learning, are outnumbered by those who come for the entertainment.

Therefore, causing this parent to question why in the world would I send my son off to be entertained, at church?    

I don't know about you, but we have enough entertainment in our lives! 

That's not why we attend worship and Bible study!

And I want my son to know that and appreciate that church has a purpose and that purpose is ALL about Christ, not him.  

THIS is what God has shown me in the past week.   THIS is where He is taking our family.   THIS is personal and it may not be your vision or your belief.

But it is MINE and I am treasuring it in my heart.


...............As I sat in Bible study last night, worshiping through song, prayer and scripture, I was beaming on the inside, because my son was right beside me AND at the table next to ours, were about 5-6 girls, all teens, who were singing along and listening to a man who was, without fanfare or gimmicks, telling us the story of Kind David and applying it to our lives - ALL  of our lives - kids and adults alike - and it was good.